As a life coach I often ask clients what is holding them back and I find they often don't realise how they appear to their colleagues, superiors or clients.
They are often unaware they are shrinking back, or looking nervous or alternatively coming across as negative, closed off and unapproachable.
Lessons learned early on can have a massive effect on our personalities as adults - strong, positive body language starts from childhood, like when your parents teach you how to shake hands or make eye contact.
Challenging our natural shy tendencies can have huge consequences, whether it's finally daring to ask for a raise or admitting to being overworked. Learning how to read and change your personal and professional power structure is a Win-Win situation.
The benefits of understanding the codes our bodies give off are huge and can enhance all areas of your life. The first step to being a body language connoisseur couldn't be easier and practising on your colleagues and family will expand your skills.
Imagine you are turning the volume down on a conversation and watch colleagues interact. Take a wild guess what is going on - 80% of the time you'll be right. The starting point is looking at what you are seeing and hearing rather than the words that are being spoken.
Mirror, mirror
One of the easiest ways to get on someone's good side
is to mirror their body language and speech patterns, because we tend to prefer
people who are like us. Two people who are agreeing with each other often hold
themselves in similar ways, and use their hands similarly.
This is mirroring, and it's quick to learn. Practise on friends and colleagues, concentrating on how they hold themselves, their speech patterns and other non-verbal indications. And then let yourself loose on the boss!!
But watch out not to go overboard. Only mimic the positive, friendly body language or you will make things worse. Good sales people will mirror you, but it's never intrusive or intimate. We feel they are safe and that, as the shopper, we are in control of the situation, and that's usually the way you should approach it at work.
Tone
Using your voice is an important tool and is a tool a
lot of politicians have learnt well. Women politician are often coached to
lower their tone and speak much slower - to be more male.
In fact the depth of your voice is important because it's related to body size; unconsciously a boss will hear a more dominant, authoritative person with this method. Interestingly studies have revealed that the pitch of women's voices is becoming much more like men's as they become more liberated.
Touchy subject
Leaders are well known for using subtle tactile gestures to ingratiate
themselves and boost their power, but these should be used sparingly in
professional situations, where obvious touching is less frequent and our body
posture is much more guarded. A small arm pat may be in order. It is a form of
flattery.
A classic example is a customer service test they did in a library. A woman at the service desk tapped some of the participants lightly on the arm. Those who were tapped gave her very high ratings, but didn't remember the tap at all.
Seven deadly habits -
· Playing with your hair
· Shrugging
· Speaking too fast
· Crossing your arms
· Stroking your neck or arms
· Fidgeting or foot tapping
· Wringing your hands.
Dress to impress
Ring in the changes, if you want to make a new impression, you need a new you.
Being too casual might make people think you are casual about your work. Why
not try a tailored suit, with a feminine lacy camisole underneath? Getting the
balance between power dressing, which is so 80's and too girlie is hard, but a
classic, fitted dress is a great way to get around the problem.
For men a smart suit with a plain shirt and trendy tie creates a balance of professionalism with a touch of individual creativity and flair enabling you to fit in and be counted.
Learn more
Getting more proficient in body language techniques
along with learning how to dress for success will enhance your ability to build
and maintain rapport, creating successful, productive relationships which will
greatly assist you to get ahead quickly in your life as well as your business.
Synergy Effect Coaching all rights reserved.
The areas above along with CV Preparation & Effective Communication Skills
are covered in the upcoming 2 day workshop 'Get the Job you Want
- THINK SUCCESS' taking place on February 24th & March 10th 2007 in
Auckland.
They will be run by Suzanne Masefield in conjunction with leading specialists in the field. This workshop will ensure you maximise your potential and create your own destiny in the workplace.
There are Limited Spaces on this course which are filling up fast, so get in quickly if you think this is for you. To book yourself on this wonderful course contact Gael on 021 312 700 or Suzanne at Synergy Effect Coaching synergyeffect@clear.net.nz
The first 6 people to contact Synergy Effect save $100.00 off any Coaching Programme to assist you to Make 2007 YOUR Year.
If you would like individual assistance in these areas contact Suzanne (09) 419 2462/0210 240 4148.
Suzanne Masefield is an Executive and Personal Coach assisting individuals to define their vision and create successful outcomes. She is Director of Synergy Effect Coaching Ltd., a preferred coach to many leading individuals and businesses. Effecting Positive Change, Creating Empowered Communication & Focused Clear Action.