Hi.
Everyone keeps asking why there's nothing about me on my support site.
Well...that's because it is just that, a support site and not about me.
I've always had trouble writing about me but here goes.......

 

First off I am Transsexual not "Transgender".
I was born that way! It is not something one suddenly decides to do because it is trendy.

 

Personally, I hate the term Transgender which lumps transsexuals in with cross dressers, fetish and other types. I have nothing against cross-dressers, a few of my friends are, just think before you apply tags.

I don’t mind being a “shemale” or even an “old queen” but not a “cross dresser” (unless you catch me wearing jeans, work-shirt and a cowboy hat). And, for all you ignorant people who never went to school….transvestite is Latin for cross dresser. No more, no less.

It is also an insult to any transsexual to be called one.

And…..Whether I am "pre op" or "post op" is nobody’s damn business unless I am sleeping with them and I am totally not amused by some among us who have to declare to the world that they are "post op" but then still act like men.

 

Anyway…….

Although designated male when I was born in March 1952 I've always had gender identity problems. Having a  dominant mother sort of helped push me in the female direction as well though I ‘spose it was a good thing being encouraged to do housework, cooking and ironing. 

Through school years I never joined in with the disgusting little things boys enjoyed doing and absolutely refused to play football etc.  Although not realising it at the time I thought differently as well, always from the female aspect not the dominant male aspect. This did not mean I could not consciously kick in the male bit if provoked but it was stressful and usually involved “over the top” behavior

My body has always been at odds with itself and from the beginning of teenage years I suffered from back problems, breathing problems along with confusion and anger at life in general. 

Approaching puberty I was confused and dismayed to find I was not physically the same as the girls I played with though my breasts were developing and I did not grow body hair as such.

Even though I exercised and worked out I could not develop muscle definition.

 

Hated school and  with the exception of a few close friends I kept to myself, missing as much as possible. I refused to take part in anything where people would see my body and spent most of my time practicing music (piano and guitar) or just staying home doing housework.

I started going out dressed as female at about 13-15 instead of going to school and discovered I was more attracted to men than women. Was rather confusing to find that men found me attractive as well.

Looking back I realise that it did not worry me as such, just the fact that I did not fit in anywhere.

 

I have always been interested in mechanical things whether it be sewing machines or motorcycles. Had several motorbikes from an early age including a BSA which I had to hide at the railway station so my mother would not find out. Progressed to a Triumph at 18, had a token girlfriend for a while (friends only)  but never tried to hide my female side either.

People just thought I was rather strange.

 

As a teenager I preferred to hang out with a few close friends but had no sex drive like they did and when they picked up girls I usually just disappeared. I got to know the “trans girls” on the streets….they were a pretty tough lot back then and on one hand envied their lifestyle but on the other, I wanted something better from life. There were a few “liaisons” with men (and ts girls). I liked the company, contact and excitement that comes from being “chased” but was disgusted by the sexual stuff they wanted. 

I never at any time thought of myself as “gay”, just different somehow.

I tried doing the "normal" partner and family thing over the following years but eventually got sick of New Zealand and its attitudes and in the 70's went to live in Australia. Started in Brisbane but was drawn to Kings Cross and ended up living there . It was an eye opener for a dumb kiwi but I felt right at home there and was accepted by everyone. I had a go at everything...street worker, barperson at the infamous 'Bottoms Up Bar' and 'Venus Room', some stage work and played piano for quite a few famous people although I never became famous myself (not for piano playing anyway).

I found I had a gift for communication which over-rode any other problems people had with me,   eventually becoming accepted by the people who really ran the place and gaining a reputation for obtaining whatever they needed and fixing situations.  I adopted the identity of a gg (genetic girl) with her permission and gradually built up my experience and confidence to a point where I did not even think about the gender issues. In those days I had a figure and did not look too bad but I am very tall with big hands etc etc so never fooled myself that I was getting away with it. I just didn’t think about it and apparently nobody else did either (at least not to my face).
I had no problems with dressing as male and dealing with the situation if neccessary

Progressed to a Harley Davidson in Australia and had great fun pulling up with a group of bikers then watching their faces once the helmet and jacket came off.

Nature took matters into its own hands in the late 70's when it was discovered I had testicular cancer which had also spread so far through my body it was considered 'terminal'.

Surgery (orchiectomy) and 6 lots of chemotherapy at St Vincent’s, Sydney in 1981 proved them wrong, so far at least. While recovering from that lot I was involved in a serious motorcycle accident which left me with major internal injuries including the groin area.

None of it any loss as far as I was concerned but terribly embarrassing and frustrating when things had to be re-attatched if I wanted my insurance money.

The "clean up the Cross" campaign in the 80's prompted me to move out to the suburbs of Sydney. My partner (female) came over from New Zealand and I again tried to do the "normal" thing.
No chance!
Sydney was not big enough. The Cross caught up to me and I was told to leave ...Australia...for good!
Partner could not hack my dual lifestyle and became ex again.
It was becoming boring anyway so I moved overseas to a non specific location to do some non specific contract work. Was a good way to take out my frustrations with the world

Despite having been kicked out of Australia I returned but this time to the Gold Coast.
Tried doing the normal thing there but allways wanted to be who I realy was so in the end just did it.
I returned to Sydney several times to puchase recreational goods and on one occasion was recognised and reminded of what would happen if I was caught back there.
Being the only "girl" in places outside of Sydney at the time was fun. I find Australian men quite amusing with their attitudes ranging from "openly hostile" once they figure it out through to "cant get rid of them" once they've had a few beers
I still had no desire to sample their prisons though so was off out of there again.

I traveled to Asia many times in the 90’s which is fun (I find them all very friendly and a bit in awe of a very tall woman) and have lived in Vietnam and Thailand. I love the way they are polite, even to their enemies but have seen first hand how tough and resourceful they are when required.

Kept returning to New Zealand but things never changed much so always ended up back in Australia.

I returned to Auckland in the mid 90's and became involved in support work with the Auckland Pride Centre. There was no information available for Trans girls in Auckland at the time so started a website (once NZ got access to internet) with local information and became involved with local trans support groups.
I also made submissions to the prison reform committee, naming names and dropping more than a few admin staff in "it" so hopefully made some impression on them which will lead to a few changes in the rules. (11 years ago now…..it did changes things!)

At present  a small group of us operate Trans Care Charitable Trust  and we recently helped several people make submissions to the Human Rights Enquiry.

 

Unfortunately these days I am finally having to admit that I am too old and sick for the non-stop partying and running around town in mini skirts ect (hey...if you've got it..why not) so have had to slow down a little.
On the plus side though, my sense of humor and  personality means people never get the chance to have issues about my gender. Anyway, even at more than half a century old, I'm still having fun with being proudly transsexual and have been doing so since before most people reading this were even born.

I still ride my Harley, in fact I have 2 of them and am a member of Lady-H.O.G Australia

Although Executive Trustee for TransCare Charitable Trust and Director of After Dark Fashion I also work in the hospitality industry (bar manager), and am definitely "out there" living my life without any problems or signs of discrimination apart from that which any woman would encounter.(that is part of life as a female, get over it and get on with it)
Despite recent attacks and treachery from within my own community I am still happy to talk to anyone, have a coffee and chat.
Please note though, I have a partner who accepts me for who I am so am not interested in anything more than friendship.

Am equally at home behind the bar, doing support work, riding my Harley, cooking for my boyfriend or just doing housework.

 

So......here I am, 58 years old and back where I was born.

Totally over-qualified for the job of doing nothing much.
I own several houses, an MX5 which is more battered than me and 2 Harley Davidsons.
Not a bad achievement for a Trans girl from New Zealand ?

Maybe!

Have changed my name so many time I can’t remember, mainly to match that of partner at the time because the law will not allow me to get married.  I have my NZCE, am a licensed electrician in 3 countries, am qualified to teach piano, have made several records which did not make me rich, have played backing for quite a few famous singers who did get rich, have friends ranging from (ex) prime ministers, famous politicians and other  performers through to (ex)presidents of outlaw motorcycle gangs, not to mention contacts in Sydney’s criminal underworld, probably mostly dead by now.

Am a qualified social worker for civil defense, qualified navigator (coastal & blue water) and, as my NZD profile says, have a stack of certificates which I can't be bothered hanging on the wall.
I have worked for Ministry of defense, Ministry of works, Hospital dept, Police in NZ and liaison work in Hong Kong, managed several companies and even did mercenary work (gender non specific) in places I cant even pronounce.

 

Still, life goes on and it is time to move on again.

Two choices. Back to Australia for the last time to take up an offer as part owner and manager of a restaurant on the Sunshine Coast or take up an offer working in Thailand for an Australian run hospital.

Decisions decisions.

House prices here suck (from an owner’s aspect), our currency is worse.

Waiting to see what the weather is going to be like this year.