Transsexual struggle revealed

Whangarel
By Dylan Thome

Before Yasimi Quaife took her life, she asked that her diaries be published to shed light on the struggles faced by a young transsexual.
“If something happens to me and I don’t make it, I want these diaries published to help others,” the 23-year-old wrote in her diary. Her older sister, Mig Alves, read those words in the attic of her mother’s home. It was the day of Yasimi’s funeral — she read the diaries in one eight-hour sitting, unable to put them down. “I couldn’t put them down, I just realised how wrong everything was.”
Through the diaries, she learned that her sister’s struggle included sexual abuse, mistreatment in the educational and health systems and violence in everyday life. Yasimi had been born a male, but had been living as a woman for six years and was saving for a gender re-assignment.
She committed suicide on May 9, 1999, five days after she was released from Whangarei Hospital’s mental health unit. The family had felt there were significant deficiencies in the care provided by the hospital, but coroner Max Atkins cleared Northland Health of any

blame. Ms Alves is convinced the mental health system contributed to her sister’s death. “If she didn’t end up in the mental health system with all that medication I think she would not have committed suicide.”
The sexual abuse Yasimi was subjected to as a child had also left deep scars. “It was a lot of little things compounding into one big weight,” Ms Alves said.
Born Kane Charles Alves, Yasimi had always felt trapped inside a male body. As a child Kane was “just like a clingy little girl who wouldn’t play in the mud and didn’t want to get dirty”. She never grew facial hair and had female chromosomes, Ms Alves said. “She didn’t really have a life as we know it, In the later years people assumed she was happy and fun. She was stunning looking and very clever, but it wasn’t a very happy life.
“She was probably one of the best people I know, very well educated, very well presented. She would help anyone and wouldn’t discriminate against people even though people discriminated against her. She had a good sense of humour as people will find in her writing, she had a very brilliant mind.”
Ms Alves said she picked up the diaries to search for answers. They covered five years of her sister’s life, and gave a harsh insight

into the life of a young transsexual having to deal with gender issues. Such was the power of the contents, she has been unable to bring herself to read them again.
However, Yasimi’s statement that she wanted the diaries to be published was more than a request — they were an order.
“I think she wrote them with the intention that they would one day be published. She didn’t want other kids to go through this. It’s not a necessary part of life.”
To fulfill the wish, her family has formed a non-profit trust to raise the $25,000 needed to cover the publication of the diaries, which she kept for five years up until her death. The diaries are being published in January 2005.
The family hopes the diaries will be a useful tool for parents, people in the health and educational professions, police, teachers and people in every part of the community.
The family believes the diaries will provide a true understanding, not just of a young transsexual, but also of the roll-on effects of sexual abuse and violence inflicted on all genders that occurs in all cultures when there is no communication among people.